Converting to Islam ?

So far many friends and strangers were questioning me if I would like to convert to Islam. This question was based on their evaluation of my latest interests Middle Eastern cultures and political aspects of the history, as well as my elementary knowledge of Arabic and some Islamic rules.

I always liked to know the truth from the original source. Reading many articles and news reports, where people were quoting Koran, made me think that the best way to know whose words are right (and if Islam really promotes violence of any form) is to read Koran myself. Currently I'm reading it in Ukrainian (mother language always reaches your heart first!). I also plan to learn Arabic for purpose of understanding original texts.

As far as I can see now, I share a lot of ideas and values in life with these, which are mentioned by Allah in Holy Writing. Plus, I've met a lot of Muslim people, who are very nice to me and helped me a lot. But the most important part for me was discovery of those people, who share my ideas and value the same things in life. Unfortunately, in modern world and any non-Muslim community such people are less and less common.

I'm Orthodox Christian raised in Central Ukraine. This means I'm not very religious person, as well as my parents and grandparents. This is because:
- I wasn't taught so much about Christian religion at young age.
- Main religion in Kyivan Rus' was Paganism. Then the king Volodymir decided to convert Ukrainians to some new religion, which will be beneficial for trading purposes. He was deciding between Islam (reach Meddle Eastern region by these times) or Christianity (new developing Europe). He decided to bring Christianity to Ukraine from Byzantium.
- In USSR time it was forbidden to go to the church. Only old people on big religious holidays were allowed to visit a church. That's why generation of my parents doesn't know much about religious traditions.
- Every young parents do Baptism to their children, because it's part of Ukrainian culture and local traditions.

I believe religion and faith are absolutely different things. Christian religion is just part of the culture in which I was raised. We (Ukrainians) for the most part already gave up speaking our native language, because of the influence and terror of Russia/former USSR/Moscow Empire. I felt how it is to be 'a person without motherland' in Germany, where everyone says I'm 'russische Frau' (Russian woman) or immigrant from East Europe, but when I say 'I'm from Ukraine' - people are lost, because 'She's not from Russia'=no motherland. I just don't want to loose last boundaries (in form of religion) with my culture and motherland.

I also believe, that God is within us and no one should relate only on Gods will, but live his/her life like a good person and try his/her best at everything.  I'm really grateful one Muslim person, who said 'Do you believe in God? [My answer was: Yes] This is the most important!'.

By my experience being Christian, I feel like it's very important to have people, who will support you and show you the right path. It should be done from young childhood or supported by spouse with same religious background.

Maybe someday I will choose Islam, but only if there will be completely committed person by my side to help me out :-)

P.S. As one of my Ukrainian friends said: 'I feel like it is really yours. If you will decide to change your religion one day - you'll be the same person for me and I'll love you anyway'.

Scent of winter

It's second morning when I feel and smell it - the scent of winter...

It's something that is hard to describe if you weren't born in the winter. You feel first snowflakes are coming and swirling in the air. The feel of new life starting and hopes, your hope, hopes of thousands and billions of people, their wishes which came true and those that are still unrealized...I feel them all...

Sometimes, I want to be a fairy lady to make somebody's wishes come true...

Update: Dad called during the day and told me that he saw the first snow falling and my mom told me the same, but I missed it because I was swimming in the pool first time in the new season. But anyway, my prediction was correct. It really snowed today :)

Men's ignore or Be a queen, but act like a bitch?

Warning: In the post was used information from real chat with one of my best guy-friends.

When somebody is jealous or envious - I don't care too much. I just don't feel. I am being cold-hearted on a surface as long as possible. But people still can insult me sometimes by ignoring, being late, irresponsible, not organized and not punctual.

Especially guys, whom I admire in real life and who's side/position I take most of the time are just killing me with their unexpected behavior. I still don't get it, when somebody sincerely says: "Let's keep in touch. I want to know you. I'll be happy to talk to you more." and then don't answer your mails for a long time with no reason for a delay or don't answer them at all.

One of my best guy-friends told me: "I might ignore a man, but never I would ignore a lady!" I hope everybody/majority to be like this.

Those guys are so pathetic, I swear!!! They are just irresponsible. Now everybody is scared to take a responsibility.

I don't want to judge these guys, but I'm just pissed off (can you believe this) because I don't get their behavior. They were nice when we met in person, but they don't even answer if they checked a mail few weeks ago. Even one guy, who is not the best personality in my opinion, did answer my mail. Who is much more intelligent then? 

That guy wrote that he's busy now and can't answer too often, but he answered and explained that he's busy.

He was very honest. But we are all busy and we should never forget about our good friends. 

You know, I, honestly, don't want to be disappointed in guys at my age. What I'll do when'll be older?! 

But I'm pissed off by being treated like this. Being treated like this just because I DO CARE about the person. Sometimes I just want to write to them that it was mean and to see their reaction...

And it's not always only about the mails. Even in real life guys show their interest and when you admit it they just start to ignore you. You'll say "Everybody loves a challenge.", so should women act like a bitch to be loved? Every man wants a good girlfriend, but they make us act like bitches...

Mommy-to-be or -not-to-be?!

Going back home I was a witness of a sin...

Young lady who's obviously 7 or 8 months pregnant was standing smoking next to her friend (also a woman) who was smoking too.

Recently, I have seen another picture next to my local supermarket: I saw the back of the woman with a small girl walking with her, but the most interesting picture was further - a couple, pregnant woman and her husband were looking at the same direction at the same woman with a kid, who was smoking at the same time. I looked at this woman, then on pregnant woman who caught my look we both and her husband had the same expressions of shock on our faces and we all looked back at that woman once again...

Do those women understand that their temporary satisfaction can influence on baby's health? What are they thinking about (if they have ability to think at all)?..

During the winter (when in Ukraine temperature reach a point around -17, -22 degrees Celsium) girls, young ladies and women are wearing miniskirts, shortcut coats, nylon tights and even shorts. Some of my foreign friends were wondering if it's some kind of competition here called "Who will survive in the shortest miniskirt".

Sometimes I wonder if those girls/women consider which kind of consequences it may cause to their health, do they want or plan to have kids ever? Do they want to have normal sexual life or they want to suffer from some terrible disease for the rest of their lives?

Story of one Korean soul living in Ukraine

It was my second "lazy Korean Friday"*, when I met this outstanding person. She opened the door at the school just right before I reached a handle from outside. Average height with dark short hair and friendly smile. She was our teacher for that day's lesson.

As professional habit, automatically, my brain started to study everything, every small detail and feature of her manners, appearance, style of speech. As a teacher myself and minoring in psychology  I could tell that she spent pretty long time in Ukraine and, maybe, in the Soviet Union, because by the way she talked I could say that some words were in use here around 20-30 years ago and it could be caught only at Soviet time system of education.
...She was explaining Korean grammar rules and new vocabulary to us and she was always referring to Koreans as "they" and to Ukrainians as "we" and identifying herself with "us"(Ukrainians), which I found interesting, because it's rare to see a person who obviously identify herself with another culture rather than her own. So, by that time, I was already so curious about her personal background that I did commitment to myself: "I'll ask her after the lesson".


And what did she tell us was one of the most interesting stories I've ever heard from foreigners here in Ukraine...

Yaponomania 2013 (13.09.-15.09.)

Photoreport of one amazing event

When you're strong

When I was a little girl I was fascinated by the main heroine Morgan Adams in the movie Cutthroat Island .  I wanted to have such strong spirit and personality. I really admired the way she achieved her goals.

Now, after years of working on myself, I feel that I really became strong, but at that point I felt another side of being strong.
I've got three big events in last 7 years that changed my personal philosophy completely. After them I finally became myself, whom I wanted to be, strong and independent woman. But not always you become satisfied, because sometimes you stay motionless in situations in which you, normally, should react, depending on situation, in some way.


What do you think? Is it good or bad to be mentally strong?

Being Ukrainian (women)

 ***Prologue***

This is objective facts about Ukrainian history, traditions, morality and some other things that average Ukrainian will explain to you as "It's Ukraine".

Why I will use term " modern Ukraine"? Because Ukraine, actually, existed starting earlier then 5th century. In term of modern I include two meanings: first: as independent country, second: (in brackets) I mean last 7 or 10 years of our history.

Intro

What I've learned from my experience having foreign friends all around the world and working for/with foreigners who are currently working or living in Ukraine is that it doesn't matter which language people speak - we are the same, we have the same problems and dreams in life, but we use different ways (based on our traditions) of solving our problems and trying to make our dreams come true.

What?

Latest journey to Egypt rooted my impression and personal point of view on how it is contradictory to be Ukrainian. Especially, a)if you're in foreign country; b)if you're in Muslim country; c)if you're woman.

Why?

Because Ukraine, as a modern country, hasn't such a long history (only 20 years of independence from USSR, in face of Russia now) and had a lot of problems with law system, business (everyone remember 90th: huge wave of criminals, who were freed from prisons, big defaults, long queues of people who were trying to buy the most necessary stuff for their daily life (food, clothes, china, even toilet paper was a deficit).
Mass of Ukrainians were happy that they can go abroad now and not being chased as it was in Soviet times. So many Ukrainians were emigrating to any country where were possible to stay for a long time. They just tried to escape this bad time in Ukraine. My family wasn't an exception from those who were thinking to go away, but in the end my parents decided to stay with the whole family and don't move to "who knows where".
A lot of Ukrainians got in trouble while emigrating, especially girls who's gone to prostitution trying to earn money for paying a rent for apartments. Some emigrants were shocked by the variety of (different) production in stores, modern technologies, because they just haven't been allowed to see it before in their lives.
For years, in eyes of many locals in other countries, there had been cultivated stereotypes about our citizens as selfish, greedy and unkind people. Those stereotypes are still alive ("thanks" to Russian who are originally alike: unkind and laid back and we are "lucky" to be their neighbors ). But it doesn't mean that we really are or were bad people. For a long time Ukrainians were suffering from poor and hard life and still we have just poor people and just rich people. No other...No middle class...
Ukrainian girls still search for good life and still get in troubles, more of them become prostitutes and so on (in Amsterdam at the red lantern district is the street were are the most beautiful and the most expensive prostitutes. Can you guess who are they?).
If our tourists see something that they like - alcohol drinks, souvenirs etc. - they will drink/buy as much/many as they can allow just trying to show on others that they have money, that they are not poor. Same situation is inside the country about expensive cars and mobile phones. People try to show others that they have money.

Long story short on what is the difference between Ukraine and Muslim counties. Why do they like our women and why Ukrainian women hate Muslim men.

In Ukraine (modern) :

• couples can date openly
• couples can live together before marriage
• couples can have children and (at the same time) one of them or both can have social status as "lonly mother" or "single" while living with someone
• couples can just put a stamp in the passport "married with Mr./Mrs. without holding wedding ceremony
• man shouldn't buy a lot of jewelry for his fiancé
• man/woman can have lover aside wife/husband
• they can kiss on public, have sex before marriage etc.
• men usually are laid back and don't thinking about going somewhere with their girlfriends

In Muslim countries:

• couples can date openly
• couples can live together before marriage
• couples can have children and (at the same time) one of them or both can have social status as "lonely mother" or "single" while living with someone
• couples can just put a stamp in the passport "married with Mr./Mrs. without holding wedding ceremony
• man must buy a lot of jewelry for his fiancé
• man/woman can have lover aside wife/husband
• they can kiss on public, have sex before marriage etc.
• men usually are laid back, but always take care of their partners and family in general

Because Ukrainian men generally are laid back women are hunger on their attention. Turkish and Iranians or other Muslims know this and use all their charm to express as many compliments as possible. Usually, some girls "melt" from nice words which created legend that all the Ukrainian women are easy to get and now Turkish and Iranians became more forceful and aggressive against Ukrainian women. They don't even stopped by the fact that woman's husband/boyfriend is standing next to her, because they know that husband/boyfriend thinks "it's her problem". And this is our reality in Ukraine.
For example, in Egypt in the hotel stuff is pretty nice,- men will say sincerely to you that you're such a beautiful woman and will smile to you, but no one will do even a step in your direction, because they have a boss and know that they can lost their position because of it, but if you go to the clothest city or shop, - it'll be another story. No one controls those men. Husband's existence doesn't change anything. They will try to touch you anywhere they can get or will say really offensive things to you. Other women than Muslim exist just for having fun and because Ukrainian, in particular, have a legend as "easy to get",- so they are not aware to do anything they want.

I don't say that all of Muslims are bad, but majority of them created Ukrainian point of view. Situation becomes scarier when you realize that your partner doesn't really care what happens to you...

Panda life

Ha-ha, my slang word became world-wide famous expression : ))

Source: Urban Dictionary

PANDA EYES (my version - panda regime lifestyle)

Explanation:
a)Someone who has had a lack of sleep, resulting in dark circles under their eyes.
b)Someone who, as a result of too much marajuana, has dark circles under their eyes
Examples:
1. James was so tired, after only 2hours sleep last night, he has panda eyes.
2. Dude, how stoned are you, you have massive panda eyes

Несколько весомых мыслей на протяжении весны

01.04.
Дочитала свою любимую мангу. Каждый раз как начинаю новую главу, то кажется, что читаю свою биографию : )
* о манге Bokura ga ita

10.04.
To silently take my hands, to silently hold me, I only wish for those small comforts (c) Super Junior "No Other"

"Хочу лето..." - под этой моей фразой скрывается много личных причин. Это даже не отпуск где-то далеко у моря, не золотистый загар, а просто хочется вернуться в детство, или хоть на 10 лет назад, побыть хоть мгновение ТАМ (в моем особенном месте) и почувствовать себя ДОМА.

11.04.
Который день обещаю себе говорить на русском языке. Пока получается : "Sorry, I don't speak Russian" : )

12.04.
Солнышко...

20.04.
Смотрела просто "зарыдатильный" фильм. Но до конца досмотрела не прослезившись. Жизнь, все-таки, научила, что все в этом мире не просто...
* о фильме  "Koizora". Кто не хочет ходить еще дня три под впечатлением -  рекомендую не смотреть.

03.05.
Понравилось выражение:
« Женщины сильнее нас. Для них не существует глупостей — только главное. Жизнь, дети, свобода. Они не видят смысла в вечной жизни — они продолжаются в детях, и этого достаточно. Они не завоеватели — им и так принадлежит мир, потому что они способны создать новую жизнь ».
— Джонни Депп

05.05.
Жаль, что Украина с Японией больше в культурном плане и сфере энергосбережения развивает отношения, а наша дурацкая система налогообложения и укоренившиеся традиции отхапать себе денег из фондов и бюджетов отгоняют всех потенциальных инвесторов и большие торговые корпорации.
Все перспективы найти хорошую работу убиваются на корню. Но будем рыть дальше... Кто хочет- тот найдет!

Иногда хочется, чтоб в жизни было такое понятие как справедливость. Пока оно отсутствует - буду наслаждаться вот такими банальными радостями...

18.05.
Никогда бы не подумала, что буду учить китаянку японскому...

Сегодня учила японскому... Сидели: украинка, китаянка и финка разговаривая то на японском, то на русском, то на китайском, то на английском. Мне иногда удавалось еще и украинские слова вставлять... Всегда интересно в такие моменты смотреть на реакцию окружающих в кафе : ))
Наши записи в тетрадях:
моя - на 5и языках,
китаянки - на 4хязыках,
финки - на 2х языках.

Childhood

A part of RED RIDING HOOD a novel by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright:

"[...]He had been gone for months now, her friend. They had been inseparable, and Valerie still couldn’t accept the fact that he wasn’t coming
back. His leaving had been like snipping off the end of a rope—leaving two unraveling strands.
Peter hadn’t been like other boys, who teased and fought. He understood Valerie’s impulses. He understood adventure; he understood not following the rules. He never judged her for being a girl.[...]".

I watched Red Riding Hood directed by Catherine Hardwicke just today and was almost crying at that moment... It reminded me about my past and person, who I miss so much.

And I REALLY LOVE WOLVES!!!

Catherine Hardwicke's movies always have their own mood and give me great inspiration. Just look at this picture...

Чиполино

Вчера "смотрела" рекламу перед новой серией "Друзей" с ребенком, который говорит только "ка-ка", "мама" и подобные двусложные слова. Вдруг на экране появляются два парня(какой-то камеди клаб) и ребенок оживленно показывает на одного из них и четко произносит "чиполино", - проходит две секунды и этот парень тоже произносит "чиполино". Почему он запомнил да еще и произнес именно это для меня осталось загадкой...

Память на бумаге

Если захочешь побыть со мной – просто закрой глаза.

Обата Юуки «Это были мы»

 

 

Люблю рассматривать фотоальбомы. Конечно все события своей жизни я помню, но в этом есть что-то такое… Хочется вернуться и почувствовать или пережить что-то снова.

Понимаю, что время не вернешь вспять. Я ни о чем не жалею. Возможно, где-то стоило поступить иначе, сказать другие слова…

Если бы можно было заглянуть в будущее и потом сказать в теперешнем то, что действительно для тебя важно, но ты так и не можешь это сказать или не считаешь нужным. Я бы хотела знать, что бы было, если бы эти важные слова были произнесены – изменилось ли что-то, стало ли лучше или усугубило положение?.. Теперь понимаю, что не всегда в будущем есть время и место сказать самое важное. И также это важное может стать неважным для другого/других.

Любопытно, чувствуют ли люди со временем то же, что и прежде или их отношение/чувство меняется?

Один мой приятель сказал, что смертельно больные люди счастливы. Счастливы не потому, что знают свое будущее, а потому, что настоящее приобретает для них самую большую ценность, они видят и ощущают гораздо большее, чем обычные здоровые люди. И я с этим согласна. Был момент, который никогда не забуду, когда я «была» таким же «счастливым». Жизнь с этого момента стала совершенно иной. Ты понимаешь не то, насколько много или мало тебе осталось, а что и на сколько тебе важно.

Есть много критики в сторону памяти, но ведь именно из нее мы черпаем опыт, знания, все отношения связаны с памятью. Без памяти мы не были бы такими, какими мы есть.

 

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Недавно нашла коробку со старыми фотографиями своих бабушек, дедушек, пра- и пра-. Мама сказала выкинуть потому, что это копии. Но рука так и не поднялась донести их до мусорника. Как я могу выкинуть изображения людей, многие из которых знакомы мне только по фотографиям? Как я могу выбросить напоминание о тех, чья жизнь осталась только на бумаге и в нашей памяти?..

Народная фантазия

Вчера был эпизод из жизни дачника: пошла я на базар в селе - такого местного фольклора наслушалась))
Одна женщина говорит(я попробую перевести):
 - Я вчора начасничила грибів і ми з Валерою все поїли. - Приправила грибы чесноком.
 - Шо це вона закарикатурилася на тому стільці? - Согнулась как каракатица.
Скажу сразу, что тут куча речевых ошибок(суржик).
Еще мне понравилась градация машин, которую придумали местные продавщицы:
Жигули и т.п. - сельские(жители);
Dewoo Lanos - буквально "машина в кредит";
От Skoda и Hundai - городские;
Landcruiser и т.п. - "миллиардеры".